I've been in bit of depression recently. It always happens to me in mid november-december, because I can't go out anymore because of school ,which also starts to become pretty heavy. I just hang on until Christmas: two weeks of fun and rest and the sadness is gone.
Anyway, this one seems a bit worse, maybe because my brother is not here and he's really busy too, so we can't stay in tough very much; maybe because school is so much heavier than last year, and it's going pretty bad for my standards;maybe because it's a lot of time I don't play at the school orchestra (they haven't called me yet).
My problem is darkness. I'm not afraid, no. Sometimes I spend an hour or so at night walking around looking for a glass of water, or even eating when I haven't eaten much at dinner, without turning on the lights 'cause I'm afraid of being busted my parents.
The problem is not the darkness itself, but the emotional state it brings me. Spring, summer, fall or winter, I always turn a bit sad and/or lazy when night comes, unless something really exciting happened or is going to happen. Now that at 5 o'clock it's already night, 4 days on 7 I spend the afternoon doing homework, surfing the net without really wanting to, or looking out the window wishing I could go out or I had someome to talk with. I'm in a trance, apatic state that scares me.
I'm not even reading anymore, mostly because I've got nothing new to read, and that's the red alert for me. There are some good TV series that keep me up when I really can't stand all this anymore, but they only last one hour or so, then it all starts again.
But thanks God Christmas holidays are only 20 days away. Now that's a good thing! It will all start again. My brother will come back from friggin University, I won't have to go to school so I will be able to see my friends and train and go out and anything I'll want to do. Also, there's a bunch of new things coming.
First of all, Sasuke 24 is airing New Year's day. (thanks Arsenette). It's gonna be a blast! Six hours of show...O.O a few people I know (and me too) will get square butt on January first ;-)
Seriously, someone buy an anatomic chair!
For some reason I'm afraid it won't be as great as 23, but I think it's natural. 23's was the first one I watched live (well, live broadcast), so the espectations are high.
The second new thing is that Sportsman no.1 is airing on January too (thanks again :) ). I've never watched it (until last summer I didn't even know what it was) but it seems so interesting, and there usually is a bunch of Sasuke competitors too. Seems fun, so why not watching it?
Now I gotta go. I've got to turn off my old computer, then do a new Latin homework, then study an old Physics lesson, and then try to find a new thing to do, perhaps reading an old book.
Oh, and, don't forget pals, Christmas is coming!!